Magic mushroom trip report: Darkness and Decay

Date: June 26, 2011

Setting: a huge 6-room apartment, which I was about to leave, fully empty except a double bed, a Buddha statue and a few candles in the living room and a computer blasting music in the satanic temple.

It was about 5:00 PM when I made a tea with the mushrooms (dosage between 5 and 6 grams), to which I added lemon and honey. At 6:00, I filtered and ate the pulp rolled in a pita bread with cheese while drinking the tea, mumbling "thanks" in between bites and sips. In about 30 minutes I could feel the effects unfold, rushing over me. I smoked a bud and felt the need to go into the temple, so I did and started to dance to the dubstep that was playing.

With closed eyes, I could see "tsunami wave" patterns and they were trying to get over me, I could feel they were cocky and agressive. With all the confidence in the world I told them "this is my place, this is my temple, I set the rules, the limit is here and you're not going any further". I could feel the patterns were getting mad at me, their wrath and agressivity were going skyrocket but I wasn't impressed and told them the same thing, over and over, until they left. Waves turned into fire pentagrams, runic and planet symbols, dancing behind my eyelids over a background of absolute black emptiness.

The dubstep started to feel off so I switched for some industrial instead. Nine Inch Nail's Downward Spiral sounded like an awesome choice, so I put it in queue and pressed play. It felt great, exactly what I needed to hear. I was dancing and singing to it, making reverences and "devil" signs with both hands. I was uber at ease with my body, feeling flexible, balanced, sexy, with this "feline" feeling hard to describe. I had flashbacks of my last trip (see "You are what you eat") and felt back in tune with my divine self, but then I realized my divine self was closer to a Demon than an Angel.

There was a party at the apartment downstairs and could hear people talk and laugh, and I was creeped out by them. "Ugh, humans!", I thought, in total disgust. I felt rushed with all kinds of sensations, tickling, pressure all over, heat and waves of sensual pleasure rushing into each fiber of my being. I could see insect-faced Demons with my eyes closed, sometimes switching to monsters with eyes all over their bodies. I was fascinated by them and looked at them for a moment.

Then the doorbell rang.

I became kinda nervous but decided to open anyways, because I've been quite noisy so far and wanted to face the situation to avoid any problem (and cops being sent to my place). It turned out it was the upstairs neighbor, who needed some garbage bags. He's pretty chill so we chatted a bit, until I saw him melt and bursted out laughing. At first he was like "wtf?" but I explained I was on shrooms so it was all good.

I gave him some garbage bags promptly and came back to the temple. It was getting dark and the atmosphere got really interesting in there. My body was becoming hard to control and keep on balance, so I decided to sit on the floor and meditate while holding a meteorite. It felt out of this world, my whole being seemed to vibrate as I focused on that tiny bit of rock. I could feel the darkness was filled with "fellow" Demons and I was fully at ease with them, as if I found back some long lost friends. They were part of me, just as much as I was part of them, like a symbiosis of some kind. I was at peace in this darkness with my shadow companions.

I summoned my Demon-guide and we chatted a bit about life, death and after-life. At a moment I suddently felt heavy and tried to scratch my face, when I realized I was not able to move anymore. That's when I knew my body was "dead", even though I could still see through my eyes. I was sitting on the floor with my back against a wall, my legs crossed in front of me and my arms resting on my lap, completely paralysed. I could see my skin turn from pink to gray and the veins of my arms and legs becoming black, nails becoming purple-blueish and falling off, skin tearing up this and there to let a white-yellow liquid go out. I was fascinated more than horrified, until I saw a fly land on my right leg. I saw a few other flies coming over and the first thing I knew is I'm covered with worms who feed off my rotting flesh. I let the experience go as long as I could, but at a moment I couldn't take it anymore and bursted into tears.

My guide came over to calm me down, petting my head and back while whispering "it's ok" in my ear with the softest voice ever. I cried a bit more before leaving the temple for the living room and sit in front of the Buddha. I smoked another bud, vision still blury from the tears, while looking at the statue. I felt so at peace with myself, other people and the world in general, such a contrast with the panic I just went through. I did a short prayer before lying on the bed and fall asleep. My trip was done and I felt like a newborn when I woke up the next morning.