Date: Dec. 19, 2010
Place: Montreal, Canada
Setting: alone in my small and cozy studio, painted all white with a Rising Sun flag on a wall, and everything I might need nearby: a computer with tons of music and movies on it, a comfy futon, fridge filled with fresh healthy food and drinks, library full of books, cushions, pillows and comforters.
I felt like challenging myself that night, so I made a tea with 7g of pretty potent shrooms in about 750 ml of hot water. I let the infusion stand for an hour before filtering the pulp and adding lemon juice and honey to the brew. I ate the pulp in a rolled pizza slice and drank the whole tea, repeating to myself "thank you, thank you..." while sipping on the sweet, flavored liquid. I started having effects in no time, I could feel something powerful was unfolding about 15 minutes after being done with the tea. At first I was in bliss then quickly got smashed by a rush of visions and powerful sensations. I felt like I got swept away by the psychedelic wave and didn't know yet if I was surfing it or not. I told myself "oh shit, it's stronger than I thought" and felt my legs go weak, so I promptly sit down on the computer chair, my head spinning like mad.
I was surrounded by fractals and could see a shape being more and more define in the upper left corner of my field of vision. Then I told to myself: "hey it's Kali, isn't it?", to which the shape replied "yes". I could feel some kind of cocky and haughty feeling coming from her. I said "hi" anyways, and she said "hi" too. I told her I was glad to see her and she said "that's good. Aren't you afraid of me?", which got me wondering what the heck she was really looking for. I looked at her straight in the eyes and said: "no I'm not, because I know who I am."
At this moment I could feel a shift in the energy flow between us, it stopped going from me to her but got the other way around and I then was absorbing HER energy. I got so angry then that I attacked with no mercy, feeding on her as much as I could out of rage and revenge. I was litterally absorbing her, making her weak and desperate to a point I couldn't even imagine was possible. At a moment I just couldn't stand it anymore, reaching a point where I was saturated so I let her go and could hear her scream and cry as she ran away. I felt an increasing powerful vibration in all my chakras, feeling dissolved with each pulsation until I didn't feel my body at all anymore. I was pure Energy, Love and Light. And I was pure Chaos, Hate and Darkness too.
I was feeling reprogrammed, transformed, transmutated into something delightful and sublime, but boy it was painful! I don't know when and how, but I managed to lie on my back on the futon, shaking and panting for air, my body extremly tense with rushes of energy giving it spasms all over. I then heard a voice telling me to calm down, that everything would be alright, and that was enough to make me feel safe so I could surrender and relax. This voice was mumbling something repeatedly, at first it was mere whispers but it got louder slowly but surely. "You are what you eat, you are what you eat...", that sentence kept spinning in circles in my mind until the voice said loudly:
"You are what you eat and you ate Kali!"
At this moment I opened my eyes wide, sit on the bed suddently and said out loud, holding my head with both hands: OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE!? I was more worried about going too fast for my own well-being than for Kali, because I think she really got what she deserved. I kept asking myself disturbing questions about what I'm gonna do, what will I become, etc., for a bit, then told myself that if I was to become a God, so be it. Weirdly, at that point it was about 2 hours after drinking the tea and felt almost sober, super lucid and no more visuals or almost, some mandalas and fractals on the walls, floor and ceiling when I was looking at them but nothing as overwhelming as the beginning of my trip.
For the next 4-5 hours I listened to some music, read a bit, meditated and did some yoga, feeling über good in my own skin. I indulged in some brie cheese, belgian bread and raisins as a snack, took a shower and went to bed. The trip was over and a new Goddess was born.
vendredi 27 mai 2011
jeudi 19 mai 2011
LSD trip report and healing session: The Pit of Darkness
Date: March 24, 2008
Place: Montreal, Canada
Setting: at my friend's loft downtown, huge space decorated with 12 feet tall portraits of hindu gods on the walls, dreamcatchers, party lights, lanterns and whatnot hanged from the ceiling and a lot of cushions and beanbags all over the place.
Alex, a close shaman friend of mine, performed this healing on me to cure the terrible addiction to opiates I was stuck with at the time. Both me and him had a few tabs (well, he just took one, while I was given 3) and they were pretty potent. As soon as the acid was kicking in, my friend lead me to a mattress placed directly on the floor and asked me to lie down, which I gladly did. I spent most of the night lying on my back on this mattress, with Alex being busy around me, placing rocks on my chakras, saying prayers, spells and petting my forehead and hair while reading extracts from the Satanic Bible, the Malleus Maleficarum and De Guaita's Snake of Genesis (not sure which tome though). Words were echoing in my head, smashing and crushing my soul, mind and body, it was so powerful. The feelings of pressure and suffocation were almost unbearable at that point, but I surrendered to it and I felt swallowed by a pit of darkness. Black and white fractals were dancing behind my closed eyelids, I looked at them for a moment then I heard a scream and saw fireworks bursting, golden white and red.
Alex then decided to lie down beside me as he was getting really far down the rabbit hole too and decided to put some music on. Nine Inch Nails Downward Spiral went on and we proceeded to listen to it, in absolute silence and stillness. Well, at least, I was still and silent until the song Eraser came on. As it played I instinctively started doing the "Ohm" mantra but when the energy built up I started to sing, then singing turned to screams and laughter. I was rolling over myself all over the place, screaming "kill me" (those were the lyrics of the song and not a real desire to terminate my life) and laughing on top of my lungs, while my friend was looking at me with the biggest grin ever on his face. I came back on the mattress and we hugged for a long time before falling asleep, as the effects were wearing off and we were both exhausted.
After that night, my psychological addiction to opiates and most of my inhibitions and unhealthy tendencies were gone. Soon after, I did a cure in a centre for a month or so during the withdrawal period and I was done with it, forever. I know that story sounds surprising and maybe even crazy, but everything I told you is true. I'm really glad I've been through that, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Thank you Alex. Thank you Lucy.
Place: Montreal, Canada
Setting: at my friend's loft downtown, huge space decorated with 12 feet tall portraits of hindu gods on the walls, dreamcatchers, party lights, lanterns and whatnot hanged from the ceiling and a lot of cushions and beanbags all over the place.
Alex, a close shaman friend of mine, performed this healing on me to cure the terrible addiction to opiates I was stuck with at the time. Both me and him had a few tabs (well, he just took one, while I was given 3) and they were pretty potent. As soon as the acid was kicking in, my friend lead me to a mattress placed directly on the floor and asked me to lie down, which I gladly did. I spent most of the night lying on my back on this mattress, with Alex being busy around me, placing rocks on my chakras, saying prayers, spells and petting my forehead and hair while reading extracts from the Satanic Bible, the Malleus Maleficarum and De Guaita's Snake of Genesis (not sure which tome though). Words were echoing in my head, smashing and crushing my soul, mind and body, it was so powerful. The feelings of pressure and suffocation were almost unbearable at that point, but I surrendered to it and I felt swallowed by a pit of darkness. Black and white fractals were dancing behind my closed eyelids, I looked at them for a moment then I heard a scream and saw fireworks bursting, golden white and red.
Alex then decided to lie down beside me as he was getting really far down the rabbit hole too and decided to put some music on. Nine Inch Nails Downward Spiral went on and we proceeded to listen to it, in absolute silence and stillness. Well, at least, I was still and silent until the song Eraser came on. As it played I instinctively started doing the "Ohm" mantra but when the energy built up I started to sing, then singing turned to screams and laughter. I was rolling over myself all over the place, screaming "kill me" (those were the lyrics of the song and not a real desire to terminate my life) and laughing on top of my lungs, while my friend was looking at me with the biggest grin ever on his face. I came back on the mattress and we hugged for a long time before falling asleep, as the effects were wearing off and we were both exhausted.
After that night, my psychological addiction to opiates and most of my inhibitions and unhealthy tendencies were gone. Soon after, I did a cure in a centre for a month or so during the withdrawal period and I was done with it, forever. I know that story sounds surprising and maybe even crazy, but everything I told you is true. I'm really glad I've been through that, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Thank you Alex. Thank you Lucy.
Libellés :
black magick,
LSD trip report,
shamanic healing
mardi 10 mai 2011
Substance info: 2C-T-7
2C-T-7 is a psychedelic phenethylamine developed by Alexander Shulgin around 1980. The effects of 2C-T-7 share some general similarities with LSD & 2CB, with its length of action more like that of LSD. A research chemical market has recently been created around its recreational, therapeutic, and entheogenic uses. While most of the chemicals in its class are not known to cause acute physical dangers, 2C-T-7's safety profile for wide use is not well known nor researched. As with all new chemicals, it is difficult to be certain what the variety of reactions to the substance will be and the reports of use so far have a lot of conflicting and confusing elements, including duration, physical stimulation, dosage, etc.
Dose
A standard oral dose of 2C-T-7 is between 10 - 50 mg. It is generally found in powder form although it is also produced and sold in pill format, most recently at 7 mg per tablet. Insufflated doses are considerably lower. Users should be extremely careful with dosages as 2C-T-7 can cause unexpected delirium and dissociation at high doses.
Price
Rare, but sometimes sold at parties for 5-20$ per dose, available from exotic chemical suppliers for 375-450$ per gram, about the same from underground suppliers. (August 2000)
Law
2C-T-7 is was placed in Schedule I by emergency order of the DEA on September 20, 2002. This makes it illegal to buy, sell, or possess in the United States without a DEA license. Although Sweden controls 2C-T-7, we are not aware of any other countries that specifically list it as illegal to possess or sell.
Chemistry
2,5-dimethoxy-4-(n)-propylthiophenethylamine (2C-T-7) is a synthetic chemical in the phenethylamine class. It is related structurally to 2C-B and Mescaline.
History
2C-T-7's chemistry was first published in Alexander Shulgin's book PiHKAL in 1991. It was produced underground in college labs and by small commercial research labs until the late 1990's when it began being produced and sold commercially around the world.
Effects
2C-T-7's effects are unique but classically psychedelic, with some general similarities to LSD & 2C-B. 2C-T-7's effects can include psychedelic visuals (patterning, light sensitivity, color enhancement, etc), mood lift, empathogenesis, anxiety or calmness, emotional volatility, increased sociability, associative / psychedelic ideation, etc. Some users have report unexpected and disconcerting dissociation at high doses. Relatively prominent visuals are common with 2C-T-7 and at higher doses the visuals can overwhelm the visual field creating a 'psychedelic soup'.
Onset
Depending on how much and how recently one has eaten food, 2C-T-7 generally takes 1-2.5 hours to take effect. On a full stomach, onset can be considerably slower than normal.
Duration
2C-T-7's primary effects can last as long as 10-12 hours, with after effects for another 4-6 hours
Risks
The most common problems reported by 2C-T-7 users appear to be nausea, vomiting, unpleasant dissociation, and overwhelming visuals at high doses. As with most psychedelics, there is also the possibility of anxiety or panic attacks. In a few higher dose cases, severe dissociation has been reported where the user experienced loss of memory, mental confusion, and extreme inability to deal with real-world situations while fully physically functional. Some reports include the user becoming unusually enraged and violent. This can lead to potentially dangerous situations if an individual is left unsupervised. Heavy dissociation and vomiting can be a life-threatening combination. At least 3 deaths have been reported (by April 2001).
Contraindications
-Do not take 2C-T-7 if you are currently taking an MAOI. MAOIs are most commonly found in the prescription anti-depressants Nardil (phenelzine), Parnate (tranylcypromine), Marplan (isocarboxazid), Eldepryl (l-deprenyl), and Aurorix or Manerix (moclobemide). Ayahuasca also contains MAOIs (harmine and harmaline). 2C-T-7 and MAOIs are a potentially dangerous combination. Check with your doctor if you are not sure whether your prescription medication is an MAOI.
-Do not operate heavy machinery. Do Not Drive.
-If you have a seizure or convulsive disorder or heart problems, you may be at higher risk for health problems when taking 2C-T-7. Diabetics should monitor their blood sugar closely as there have been some reports of problems.
-Individuals currently in the midst of emotional or psychological upheaval in their everyday lives should be careful about choosing to use psychedelics such as 2C-T-7 as they can trigger even more difficulty.
-Individuals with a family history of schizophrenia or early onset mental illness should be extremely careful because psychedelics have been known to trigger latent psychological and mental problems.
Addiction potential
2C-T-7 is neither physically addicting nor likely to cause psychological dependance. Withdrawal effects following discontinuation have not been reported. As with most substances, some people will use it more frequently than they are comfortable with. There is a short period of tolerance after 2C-T-7 use. Using 2C-T-7 two days in a row is likely to lead to a diminished experience the second day, though spaced 5-7 or more days apart, this effect is nearly non-existent.
Risk of death
There have been 3 deaths which have been tied directly to 2C-T-7. The exact mechanism of death is not yet known, but it is beginning to appear that some direct pharmacological effect may be responsible (rather than an indirect effect such as aspirating vomit). There have been no formal evaluations of the Toxicity of 2C-T-7 that we're aware of.
Dose
A standard oral dose of 2C-T-7 is between 10 - 50 mg. It is generally found in powder form although it is also produced and sold in pill format, most recently at 7 mg per tablet. Insufflated doses are considerably lower. Users should be extremely careful with dosages as 2C-T-7 can cause unexpected delirium and dissociation at high doses.
Price
Rare, but sometimes sold at parties for 5-20$ per dose, available from exotic chemical suppliers for 375-450$ per gram, about the same from underground suppliers. (August 2000)
Law
2C-T-7 is was placed in Schedule I by emergency order of the DEA on September 20, 2002. This makes it illegal to buy, sell, or possess in the United States without a DEA license. Although Sweden controls 2C-T-7, we are not aware of any other countries that specifically list it as illegal to possess or sell.
Chemistry
2,5-dimethoxy-4-(n)-propylthiophenethylamine (2C-T-7) is a synthetic chemical in the phenethylamine class. It is related structurally to 2C-B and Mescaline.
History
2C-T-7's chemistry was first published in Alexander Shulgin's book PiHKAL in 1991. It was produced underground in college labs and by small commercial research labs until the late 1990's when it began being produced and sold commercially around the world.
Effects
2C-T-7's effects are unique but classically psychedelic, with some general similarities to LSD & 2C-B. 2C-T-7's effects can include psychedelic visuals (patterning, light sensitivity, color enhancement, etc), mood lift, empathogenesis, anxiety or calmness, emotional volatility, increased sociability, associative / psychedelic ideation, etc. Some users have report unexpected and disconcerting dissociation at high doses. Relatively prominent visuals are common with 2C-T-7 and at higher doses the visuals can overwhelm the visual field creating a 'psychedelic soup'.
Onset
Depending on how much and how recently one has eaten food, 2C-T-7 generally takes 1-2.5 hours to take effect. On a full stomach, onset can be considerably slower than normal.
Duration
2C-T-7's primary effects can last as long as 10-12 hours, with after effects for another 4-6 hours
Risks
The most common problems reported by 2C-T-7 users appear to be nausea, vomiting, unpleasant dissociation, and overwhelming visuals at high doses. As with most psychedelics, there is also the possibility of anxiety or panic attacks. In a few higher dose cases, severe dissociation has been reported where the user experienced loss of memory, mental confusion, and extreme inability to deal with real-world situations while fully physically functional. Some reports include the user becoming unusually enraged and violent. This can lead to potentially dangerous situations if an individual is left unsupervised. Heavy dissociation and vomiting can be a life-threatening combination. At least 3 deaths have been reported (by April 2001).
Contraindications
-Do not take 2C-T-7 if you are currently taking an MAOI. MAOIs are most commonly found in the prescription anti-depressants Nardil (phenelzine), Parnate (tranylcypromine), Marplan (isocarboxazid), Eldepryl (l-deprenyl), and Aurorix or Manerix (moclobemide). Ayahuasca also contains MAOIs (harmine and harmaline). 2C-T-7 and MAOIs are a potentially dangerous combination. Check with your doctor if you are not sure whether your prescription medication is an MAOI.
-Do not operate heavy machinery. Do Not Drive.
-If you have a seizure or convulsive disorder or heart problems, you may be at higher risk for health problems when taking 2C-T-7. Diabetics should monitor their blood sugar closely as there have been some reports of problems.
-Individuals currently in the midst of emotional or psychological upheaval in their everyday lives should be careful about choosing to use psychedelics such as 2C-T-7 as they can trigger even more difficulty.
-Individuals with a family history of schizophrenia or early onset mental illness should be extremely careful because psychedelics have been known to trigger latent psychological and mental problems.
Addiction potential
2C-T-7 is neither physically addicting nor likely to cause psychological dependance. Withdrawal effects following discontinuation have not been reported. As with most substances, some people will use it more frequently than they are comfortable with. There is a short period of tolerance after 2C-T-7 use. Using 2C-T-7 two days in a row is likely to lead to a diminished experience the second day, though spaced 5-7 or more days apart, this effect is nearly non-existent.
Risk of death
There have been 3 deaths which have been tied directly to 2C-T-7. The exact mechanism of death is not yet known, but it is beginning to appear that some direct pharmacological effect may be responsible (rather than an indirect effect such as aspirating vomit). There have been no formal evaluations of the Toxicity of 2C-T-7 that we're aware of.
Amanitas Muscaria trip report: The Dolphin and The Shark
Date: Oct. 2, 2010
Place: Montreal.
Setting: my brand new apartment, small and cozy bachelor with a private balcony, space to relax but also lots of yet undone boxes.
I was home alone and made an infusion with 15g of mushrooms in about 500ml of warm water (around 70 C, not to destroy the precious muscarine), let stand for one hour before filtering and adding lemon juice and honey to improve the taste and prevent nausea. I drank the tea in about 30 mins and the effects started to onset a bit after the tea was over. I felt somewhat dizzy, euphoric, had some motricity trouble, the colors and sounds were more pleasurable and got hungry big time, so I had some room temperature pizza which tasted SO good. At this point I was having closed-eyes hallucinations and decided that smoking a joint was a good idea, so I did.
After the joint, I felt really dizzy, cold and shaky so I undressed and went under the blankets to warm up. With closed eyes, I could see vivid and colorful kaleidoscopic images. It was nothing precise, just abstract images switching over and over at the pace of the music. I then fell into this black void, it looked like a tunnel but everything was black. I can't tell if I collapsed or fell asleep at that point, but the hallucinations kept going even though.
When I came out of the tunnel I could see fishes, alive, dead, all species, floating all around me and swimming into the unknown. I was in the sea, swimming not too far from the beach. A dolphin came to me and brang me at large, and I could see flashes of my future along the way. Once we were super far from the shore, the dolphin left and I was all by myself in the middle of the sea. I quickly saw a shark coming over, rushing in my direction. I started swimming in the opposite direction in this state of pure panic when I heard the dolphin telling me telepatically:
Wait and see what the shark wants.
I suddently calmed down and standed still while I was facing the shark. None of us moved for a moment as we were staring at each other, then the shark moved forward to leave. He didn't mean it but he swimmed so close to me I got stuck in his current and flipped over, spinning over myself uncontrollably. I accidently touched the shark and he quickly turned around to face me, jaws open, but by doing so he morphed into a skeleton. I stared at it for a bit, being utterly fascinated and impressed by both the imposant size of the jaws (they were huge!) and the tranquil beauty of this bone structure standing still in the water in front of me.
The dolphin showed up again and brang me back on the beach. On our way back, I could see more alive and dead fishes swimming around us in the crystal clear water. I fell into the same black void again and when I emerged was surrounded by fractals into a place where time, space and physical limitations didn't exist. I was surrounded by concepts, thoughts, ideas, inspirations, and they seemed to be alive and powerful though possessing a rather etheric energy. I could play with them, influence them, combine them to create new realities. I had so much fun!
The rest of my trip after that is rather blury, I was highly intoxicated by the mushrooms and fell into this comatose transe until I woke up, about 9 hours after drinking the tea. It was totally worth it, even considering the unpleasant body effects. I used to have a phobia of sharks before this experience, I couldn't even stand to see one in picture without feeling panicky, but it seems to be gone since then.
I definetely recommend it, it's awesome for shamanic journeys and lucid dreaming. It's not super powerful though, psilocybine-containing mushrooms are way more potent and easier on the body.
Place: Montreal.
Setting: my brand new apartment, small and cozy bachelor with a private balcony, space to relax but also lots of yet undone boxes.
I was home alone and made an infusion with 15g of mushrooms in about 500ml of warm water (around 70 C, not to destroy the precious muscarine), let stand for one hour before filtering and adding lemon juice and honey to improve the taste and prevent nausea. I drank the tea in about 30 mins and the effects started to onset a bit after the tea was over. I felt somewhat dizzy, euphoric, had some motricity trouble, the colors and sounds were more pleasurable and got hungry big time, so I had some room temperature pizza which tasted SO good. At this point I was having closed-eyes hallucinations and decided that smoking a joint was a good idea, so I did.
After the joint, I felt really dizzy, cold and shaky so I undressed and went under the blankets to warm up. With closed eyes, I could see vivid and colorful kaleidoscopic images. It was nothing precise, just abstract images switching over and over at the pace of the music. I then fell into this black void, it looked like a tunnel but everything was black. I can't tell if I collapsed or fell asleep at that point, but the hallucinations kept going even though.
When I came out of the tunnel I could see fishes, alive, dead, all species, floating all around me and swimming into the unknown. I was in the sea, swimming not too far from the beach. A dolphin came to me and brang me at large, and I could see flashes of my future along the way. Once we were super far from the shore, the dolphin left and I was all by myself in the middle of the sea. I quickly saw a shark coming over, rushing in my direction. I started swimming in the opposite direction in this state of pure panic when I heard the dolphin telling me telepatically:
Wait and see what the shark wants.
I suddently calmed down and standed still while I was facing the shark. None of us moved for a moment as we were staring at each other, then the shark moved forward to leave. He didn't mean it but he swimmed so close to me I got stuck in his current and flipped over, spinning over myself uncontrollably. I accidently touched the shark and he quickly turned around to face me, jaws open, but by doing so he morphed into a skeleton. I stared at it for a bit, being utterly fascinated and impressed by both the imposant size of the jaws (they were huge!) and the tranquil beauty of this bone structure standing still in the water in front of me.
The dolphin showed up again and brang me back on the beach. On our way back, I could see more alive and dead fishes swimming around us in the crystal clear water. I fell into the same black void again and when I emerged was surrounded by fractals into a place where time, space and physical limitations didn't exist. I was surrounded by concepts, thoughts, ideas, inspirations, and they seemed to be alive and powerful though possessing a rather etheric energy. I could play with them, influence them, combine them to create new realities. I had so much fun!
The rest of my trip after that is rather blury, I was highly intoxicated by the mushrooms and fell into this comatose transe until I woke up, about 9 hours after drinking the tea. It was totally worth it, even considering the unpleasant body effects. I used to have a phobia of sharks before this experience, I couldn't even stand to see one in picture without feeling panicky, but it seems to be gone since then.
I definetely recommend it, it's awesome for shamanic journeys and lucid dreaming. It's not super powerful though, psilocybine-containing mushrooms are way more potent and easier on the body.
lundi 2 mai 2011
Drug Geeks - Informed Peers in the Psychoactive Community
Everyone knows at least one: the walking encyclopedia of trivia about baseball, film or some other miscellaneous topic.
Even those with no connection to the psychoactive research and user communities are likely to be familiar with the stereotype of the uneducated "druggie" blithely stumbling from one drug experience to the next. But the pantheon of characters who spend their time immersed in the intricacies of the interface between body and mind is surprisingly diverse. The lay person can easily fail to recognize the "druggie" in that pharmacology or chemistry student intimately familiar with serotonin-transporter research, or in the talented photographer next door, or perhaps in the exceptionally green-thumbed forensic pathologist.
Character Sketch
"Drug Geeks" are individuals who self-identify (either publicly or privately) as being knowledgeable about psychoactives. Their deep interest in the topic makes them avid learners. When sitting around talking with friends, they get up to find an answer to a question. They do a web search or look up information in a book. More than that, they are the ones with the reference books to begin with. Within any group of friends, they are the individuals whom others go to for questions about psychoactive drugs. They attend psychoactive-related conferences, meticulously document their own experiences in a journal, read scientific articles, subscribe to psychedelic magazines to keep up with the latest knowledge, or browse trip reports "for fun".
Drug Geeks don't necessarily use a lot of psychoactives themselves. Many fulfill their interest by studying the subject, writing about it, or experiencing it vicariously through the writings of others. Others enjoy working with extremely mild herbs, supplements, and technologies and prefer to avoid the stronger alterants. For some people, these can provide a more consistent long-term relationship with psychoactives since they don't require as much energy and time as buying and ingesting the more socially disapproved plants or chemicals.
The self-taught expert is present in every field of study, within every hobby and every community. One of the differentiating factors when it comes to psychoactives is the danger (legally, socially and professionally) inherent in demonstrating this knowledge and expertise to those outside of the subculture. This adds a mystery school component to the system, creating secret experts; by day a normal college student--by night the leading expert in the Midwest on undetectable dorm room cultivation of psilocybin-containing mushrooms.
The Collector
One of the drug geek sub-types is the Collector. This is the individual who collects samples of as many different psychoactives as possible. They may not care if they have enough for a dose and they may not have any particular interest in ingesting the substances they collect (they often don't). Their primary interest is in having a reference sample for their collection.
The first time we encountered this type, a man offered to show us what he called his "baseball card collection". From the context of the conversation, it was clear he was talking about psychoactives, but beyond that we had no idea what he meant. He brought out a small box filled with dozens of carefully labeled plastic bags, vials, and neatly folded bits of tinfoil. He opened each item, one by one, to show us the small pile of powder, pills, paper, or material inside. His collection included a wide array of tryptamines, phenethylamines, and curious plant extracts, many of which we had never seen before.
He described when and how he had acquired each, some more than 10 years before. He waxed nostalgic about the experiences he'd had when ingesting a particular material or about the person from whom he had acquired it. Many of the items had stories about their provenance: the chemist who made them and how they got from the chemist to him. He also had empty containers that contained residue of substances from some of his most memorable experiences. He would smell them and offer whiffs to us as he related their stories.
Since that first encounter more than five years ago, we've met many other Collectors. Some specialize in one class of substance, like the person who sent us a photo of his ecstasy tablet collection including dozens of imprints, or the many who collect LSD blotter art, both dipped and un-dipped.
Another Collector we've encountered has gathered all of the psychoactive chemicals he can find and plans to take a dose of each one and encase it in plastic, creating a collection of desktop paperweights which he thinks--even with scheduled drugs--might be quasi-legal.
The Taster
While the Collector collects objects, the Taster collects experiences. Tasters are people who want to have tried everything. They pride themselves on trying as many substances as possible, seeking out and being the first to experience new substances, as well as trying uncommon and interesting combinations. Often the Tasters don't ingest any given substance very many times and have no intention of doing so. Instead, they are connoisseurs of variety.
It is not unusual for the Taster's excitement to be higher near the beginning of his or her relationship with psychoactives, and so many Tasters are younger with less years of experience under their belts. But some go on to long careers of methodically finding and trying new substances.
Some Tasters spend their time comparing and contrasting the similarities and subtle differences between the substance they've tried -- MDA vs. MDMA or 2C-I vs. 2C-B -- while others simply check each substance off their long list after trying it. But, regardless of whether they are lusting after the elusive mescaline, 4-methyl-aminorex, or the almost mythical ALD-52, what unites Tasters is their desire to try new substances.
The Daredevil
The Daredevil shares some characteristics with the Taster, but this type wants to push the limits of experience (and often of safety) by doing higher doses and having more mind-bending experiences than others. Some Daredevils don't qualify as Drug Geeks at all and are simply thrill seekers, but there are those Daredevils who are actually looking to accumulate knowledge--part of the definition of a Drug Geek--by their willingness to push the boundaries ever further. This type should not be confused with the Hard Head (who requires higher doses than others to reach comparable effects), although they do sometimes overlap.
Plant Geeks
Plant Geeks are those who focus their attention on the plant kingdom. Some grow a wide variety of psychoactive plants, while others specialize in a particular genus or in those containing a specific substance. Plants may be chosen because of their academic, historical, cultural, or metaphysical significance, and again, may not be intended for ingestion. An earlier interest in ingesting psychoactives may have been transmuted into a longer-term interest in the botany, chemistry, and spirit of the plants. The relationship between humans and power plants or plant allies is important to many Plant Geeks.
We visited one Plant Geek while we were in a semi-tropical area outside the U.S. They showed us around their extensive outdoor garden, which included kava kava, Banisteriopsis caapi, Brugmansia, and a variety of other psychoactive plants. We were shown through their greenhouse, where they allowed us to photograph every plant but one. We were asked not to take pictures of that specific plant because they had a very special relationship with it which they did not want to endanger.
Another Plant Geek we met had their entire property overgrown with Salvia divinorum. Hallways and sidewalks were lined with S. divinorum of all sizes, from the smallest cutting ("please take a couple!") to 9-foot tall flowering specimens that they were carefully hand-pollinating. Another had a cactus collection spread across several properties. New spots were carefully chosen for cuttings and friends were enlisted to help dig, carry, and move them from one location to another.
And then there's the world of Plant Geeks that focuses entirely on mushrooms and mushroom cultivation. From local mycology clubs that have substantial numbers of psilocybe-philes to the huge network of amateur and professional mycologists focusing on psychoactive varieties, the mushroom Plant Geek is a surprisingly common breed. One may focus on perfecting a specific technique for closet cultivation while another combs the local forests to find all the best spots where mushrooms grow in the wild. One Plant Geek we've met specializes in developing techniques for outdoor guerrilla planting of Psilocybe species to spots he never plans to harvest: it's just his own private protest and gift to the world.
It may be surprising that many of these people rarely (if ever) ingest any psychoactive plants themselves. They are often hesitant or unwilling to initiate anyone new, and have no interest in selling anything. One myco-geek we met enjoys the process of growing for its own sake: he figures out how to cultivate new psilocybin-producing species, gets them to fruit, writes up his notes, buries the fruit, then starts again with a new species.
Chemistry Geek
One of the more prominent geek types is the Chemistry Geek. Everyone involved in studying psychoactives for long will eventually meet one. They range from the undergrad who dreams of mastering LSD synthesis to the professional PhD with 40 years of bench experience. They can often be identified by the bits of paper in their pockets covered with arachnoid scribblings of new molecules, analytical results, or synthesis steps.
While at Burning Man 2001, we were asked by a visitor if we could show them the structure of 4-methyl-aminorex. We were unable to find the structure in our small on-playa library and also failed to find anyone else familiar with it. This failure came up in conversation at Burning Man 2002 as we sat talking to a friendly chemist-type who stopped by our dome. He knew the 4-methyl-aminorex structure and drew it on the white board we kept strapped to the wall, then went on his way. A different chemist, who stopped by the dome later that day, recognized the molecule (despite it not being labeled) and commented that he'd been thinking about the 4-methyl-aminorex synthesis process for a while but was still missing one part. He spent 15 minutes carefully drawing a series of steps for a potential synthesis path, leaving a large space in the middle marked with a question mark. Another day passed and a third chemist dropped in, pausing in front of the whiteboard. Noting the missing step, he commented "oh that step is easy", erased the question mark and replaced it with another drawing of some benzene ring and squiggly lines and letters. Soon afterwards the chemist who had drawn the original synthesis returned to find his drawing completed. He got very excited and happily exclaimed "Yes, yes! I think that would probably work!"
For those of us who have only a passing familiarity with organic chemistry or those for whom "the tryptamine backbone" is a meaningless phrase, the cryptic language of the Chemistry Geek is something to be experienced aesthetically. It seems a mix of technology and magic, somehow both modern and medieval in its translation from flask to writing and back again. There is something smile-inducing about watching Sasha Shulgin wave his arms as he talks about the "dirty pictures" of organic chemistry or listening to experienced chemists as they chatter at high speed in an alchemical dialect known only to themselves.
The Chemistry Geek is perhaps one of the most heralded of the drug geeks, both within the subculture and in the mainstream. There are PhD programs and a large pharmaceutical industry that spur them on to new heights. It's one of the few drug geek subtypes that can reliably lead to a well paid career, although most Chemistry Geeks must keep their less-approved interests very quiet lest they attract unwanted attention and scrutiny.
Photo Geek
There are also those who prefer photographs of psychoactive plants and chemicals to the substances themselves. Like mainstream mycological photographers we've met who don't particularly care for eating mushrooms, there are those who spend their time and energy seeking plants with psychoactive properties to capture as images. One of the benefits of this flavor of obsession is that it avoids some of the potential legal risks incurred by the geek types that like to handle, collect, or produce controlled substances.
Fire and I certainly qualify as Photo Geeks. My first thought when someone talks about a substance they've tried or a plant they're growing is to self-consciously wonder how rude it would be to ask if we could take a picture of it. "Where's the camera?" runs through my mind along with "I wonder if the scanner is in the car…"
At an outdoor all-night dance party a few years ago, a cute young female came up to us and asked us if we wanted any E. As a part of our process of watching and documenting the psychoactive-using subculture, we asked if she was selling any other substances. She replied that she also had 2C-B. I told her "We're not interested in buying any, but how would you feel if we took some pictures of what you've got?" She was initially a little put off by our request, but she called over her boyfriend to consult. We got into a long conversation about their strange underground business of supplying psychoactives at parties, about the ethics of selling, and about their belief that their work helped strengthen the community. After talking, he was happy to let us take pictures of his wares, so we then spent thirty minutes in a corner photographing their nice individually labeled 22.5 mg vials of 2C-B.
And Many More...
These are only some of the more common varieties of specialist Drug Geeks. Perhaps the most common Drug Geek is the Generalist who is at heart interested in how psychoactives are (mis)used and (mis)understood by society, and who enjoys discovering and promulgating factual information. The Supplement Geek knows just the right combination of vitamins, minerals or nutraceuticals to pre-load for trips, improve effects, soften the comedown, recharge the day after, or rebalance the system. The Law Geek reads every related court opinion, monitors ongoing cases, knows the flaws and vagaries of every psychoactive related law, and stays abreast of the minutiae of Federal Register filings by the DEA. The Music Geek collects traditional music like icaros and songs from the ayahuasca churches, tracks which music is best to accompany each type of experience, or writes their own to fill in where lacking. The History Geek knows the origins of specific substances, which plants were traditionally used by which culture, who first synthesized psilocybin and in what year, when mescaline was scheduled, and what government organization was in charge of drug laws at the time. The Art Geek keeps their finger on the pulse of psychoactive art: who keeps the best collections, where there are current showings, whose art has been used on LSD blotter. And the list goes on and on.
Regardless of the subject matter, specialists such as those described above serve an important purpose. Without attention from aficionados who focus intensely on the unique and obscure details of a given field of knowledge, that knowledge stagnates. It often seems to be the large corporations, institutions, and big dollars that drive the advancement of knowledge, but behind these are key individuals with a keen interest in learning, teaching, archiving, or documenting. Whether they work in a field where they are well paid, or one where they volunteer, it is these information geeks that push the boundaries of knowledge and understanding.
by Earth & Fire Erowid, 2004
Even those with no connection to the psychoactive research and user communities are likely to be familiar with the stereotype of the uneducated "druggie" blithely stumbling from one drug experience to the next. But the pantheon of characters who spend their time immersed in the intricacies of the interface between body and mind is surprisingly diverse. The lay person can easily fail to recognize the "druggie" in that pharmacology or chemistry student intimately familiar with serotonin-transporter research, or in the talented photographer next door, or perhaps in the exceptionally green-thumbed forensic pathologist.
Character Sketch
"Drug Geeks" are individuals who self-identify (either publicly or privately) as being knowledgeable about psychoactives. Their deep interest in the topic makes them avid learners. When sitting around talking with friends, they get up to find an answer to a question. They do a web search or look up information in a book. More than that, they are the ones with the reference books to begin with. Within any group of friends, they are the individuals whom others go to for questions about psychoactive drugs. They attend psychoactive-related conferences, meticulously document their own experiences in a journal, read scientific articles, subscribe to psychedelic magazines to keep up with the latest knowledge, or browse trip reports "for fun".
Drug Geeks don't necessarily use a lot of psychoactives themselves. Many fulfill their interest by studying the subject, writing about it, or experiencing it vicariously through the writings of others. Others enjoy working with extremely mild herbs, supplements, and technologies and prefer to avoid the stronger alterants. For some people, these can provide a more consistent long-term relationship with psychoactives since they don't require as much energy and time as buying and ingesting the more socially disapproved plants or chemicals.
The self-taught expert is present in every field of study, within every hobby and every community. One of the differentiating factors when it comes to psychoactives is the danger (legally, socially and professionally) inherent in demonstrating this knowledge and expertise to those outside of the subculture. This adds a mystery school component to the system, creating secret experts; by day a normal college student--by night the leading expert in the Midwest on undetectable dorm room cultivation of psilocybin-containing mushrooms.
The Collector
One of the drug geek sub-types is the Collector. This is the individual who collects samples of as many different psychoactives as possible. They may not care if they have enough for a dose and they may not have any particular interest in ingesting the substances they collect (they often don't). Their primary interest is in having a reference sample for their collection.
The first time we encountered this type, a man offered to show us what he called his "baseball card collection". From the context of the conversation, it was clear he was talking about psychoactives, but beyond that we had no idea what he meant. He brought out a small box filled with dozens of carefully labeled plastic bags, vials, and neatly folded bits of tinfoil. He opened each item, one by one, to show us the small pile of powder, pills, paper, or material inside. His collection included a wide array of tryptamines, phenethylamines, and curious plant extracts, many of which we had never seen before.
He described when and how he had acquired each, some more than 10 years before. He waxed nostalgic about the experiences he'd had when ingesting a particular material or about the person from whom he had acquired it. Many of the items had stories about their provenance: the chemist who made them and how they got from the chemist to him. He also had empty containers that contained residue of substances from some of his most memorable experiences. He would smell them and offer whiffs to us as he related their stories.
Since that first encounter more than five years ago, we've met many other Collectors. Some specialize in one class of substance, like the person who sent us a photo of his ecstasy tablet collection including dozens of imprints, or the many who collect LSD blotter art, both dipped and un-dipped.
Another Collector we've encountered has gathered all of the psychoactive chemicals he can find and plans to take a dose of each one and encase it in plastic, creating a collection of desktop paperweights which he thinks--even with scheduled drugs--might be quasi-legal.
The Taster
While the Collector collects objects, the Taster collects experiences. Tasters are people who want to have tried everything. They pride themselves on trying as many substances as possible, seeking out and being the first to experience new substances, as well as trying uncommon and interesting combinations. Often the Tasters don't ingest any given substance very many times and have no intention of doing so. Instead, they are connoisseurs of variety.
It is not unusual for the Taster's excitement to be higher near the beginning of his or her relationship with psychoactives, and so many Tasters are younger with less years of experience under their belts. But some go on to long careers of methodically finding and trying new substances.
Some Tasters spend their time comparing and contrasting the similarities and subtle differences between the substance they've tried -- MDA vs. MDMA or 2C-I vs. 2C-B -- while others simply check each substance off their long list after trying it. But, regardless of whether they are lusting after the elusive mescaline, 4-methyl-aminorex, or the almost mythical ALD-52, what unites Tasters is their desire to try new substances.
The Daredevil
The Daredevil shares some characteristics with the Taster, but this type wants to push the limits of experience (and often of safety) by doing higher doses and having more mind-bending experiences than others. Some Daredevils don't qualify as Drug Geeks at all and are simply thrill seekers, but there are those Daredevils who are actually looking to accumulate knowledge--part of the definition of a Drug Geek--by their willingness to push the boundaries ever further. This type should not be confused with the Hard Head (who requires higher doses than others to reach comparable effects), although they do sometimes overlap.
Plant Geeks
Plant Geeks are those who focus their attention on the plant kingdom. Some grow a wide variety of psychoactive plants, while others specialize in a particular genus or in those containing a specific substance. Plants may be chosen because of their academic, historical, cultural, or metaphysical significance, and again, may not be intended for ingestion. An earlier interest in ingesting psychoactives may have been transmuted into a longer-term interest in the botany, chemistry, and spirit of the plants. The relationship between humans and power plants or plant allies is important to many Plant Geeks.
We visited one Plant Geek while we were in a semi-tropical area outside the U.S. They showed us around their extensive outdoor garden, which included kava kava, Banisteriopsis caapi, Brugmansia, and a variety of other psychoactive plants. We were shown through their greenhouse, where they allowed us to photograph every plant but one. We were asked not to take pictures of that specific plant because they had a very special relationship with it which they did not want to endanger.
Another Plant Geek we met had their entire property overgrown with Salvia divinorum. Hallways and sidewalks were lined with S. divinorum of all sizes, from the smallest cutting ("please take a couple!") to 9-foot tall flowering specimens that they were carefully hand-pollinating. Another had a cactus collection spread across several properties. New spots were carefully chosen for cuttings and friends were enlisted to help dig, carry, and move them from one location to another.
And then there's the world of Plant Geeks that focuses entirely on mushrooms and mushroom cultivation. From local mycology clubs that have substantial numbers of psilocybe-philes to the huge network of amateur and professional mycologists focusing on psychoactive varieties, the mushroom Plant Geek is a surprisingly common breed. One may focus on perfecting a specific technique for closet cultivation while another combs the local forests to find all the best spots where mushrooms grow in the wild. One Plant Geek we've met specializes in developing techniques for outdoor guerrilla planting of Psilocybe species to spots he never plans to harvest: it's just his own private protest and gift to the world.
It may be surprising that many of these people rarely (if ever) ingest any psychoactive plants themselves. They are often hesitant or unwilling to initiate anyone new, and have no interest in selling anything. One myco-geek we met enjoys the process of growing for its own sake: he figures out how to cultivate new psilocybin-producing species, gets them to fruit, writes up his notes, buries the fruit, then starts again with a new species.
Chemistry Geek
One of the more prominent geek types is the Chemistry Geek. Everyone involved in studying psychoactives for long will eventually meet one. They range from the undergrad who dreams of mastering LSD synthesis to the professional PhD with 40 years of bench experience. They can often be identified by the bits of paper in their pockets covered with arachnoid scribblings of new molecules, analytical results, or synthesis steps.
While at Burning Man 2001, we were asked by a visitor if we could show them the structure of 4-methyl-aminorex. We were unable to find the structure in our small on-playa library and also failed to find anyone else familiar with it. This failure came up in conversation at Burning Man 2002 as we sat talking to a friendly chemist-type who stopped by our dome. He knew the 4-methyl-aminorex structure and drew it on the white board we kept strapped to the wall, then went on his way. A different chemist, who stopped by the dome later that day, recognized the molecule (despite it not being labeled) and commented that he'd been thinking about the 4-methyl-aminorex synthesis process for a while but was still missing one part. He spent 15 minutes carefully drawing a series of steps for a potential synthesis path, leaving a large space in the middle marked with a question mark. Another day passed and a third chemist dropped in, pausing in front of the whiteboard. Noting the missing step, he commented "oh that step is easy", erased the question mark and replaced it with another drawing of some benzene ring and squiggly lines and letters. Soon afterwards the chemist who had drawn the original synthesis returned to find his drawing completed. He got very excited and happily exclaimed "Yes, yes! I think that would probably work!"
For those of us who have only a passing familiarity with organic chemistry or those for whom "the tryptamine backbone" is a meaningless phrase, the cryptic language of the Chemistry Geek is something to be experienced aesthetically. It seems a mix of technology and magic, somehow both modern and medieval in its translation from flask to writing and back again. There is something smile-inducing about watching Sasha Shulgin wave his arms as he talks about the "dirty pictures" of organic chemistry or listening to experienced chemists as they chatter at high speed in an alchemical dialect known only to themselves.
The Chemistry Geek is perhaps one of the most heralded of the drug geeks, both within the subculture and in the mainstream. There are PhD programs and a large pharmaceutical industry that spur them on to new heights. It's one of the few drug geek subtypes that can reliably lead to a well paid career, although most Chemistry Geeks must keep their less-approved interests very quiet lest they attract unwanted attention and scrutiny.
Photo Geek
There are also those who prefer photographs of psychoactive plants and chemicals to the substances themselves. Like mainstream mycological photographers we've met who don't particularly care for eating mushrooms, there are those who spend their time and energy seeking plants with psychoactive properties to capture as images. One of the benefits of this flavor of obsession is that it avoids some of the potential legal risks incurred by the geek types that like to handle, collect, or produce controlled substances.
Fire and I certainly qualify as Photo Geeks. My first thought when someone talks about a substance they've tried or a plant they're growing is to self-consciously wonder how rude it would be to ask if we could take a picture of it. "Where's the camera?" runs through my mind along with "I wonder if the scanner is in the car…"
At an outdoor all-night dance party a few years ago, a cute young female came up to us and asked us if we wanted any E. As a part of our process of watching and documenting the psychoactive-using subculture, we asked if she was selling any other substances. She replied that she also had 2C-B. I told her "We're not interested in buying any, but how would you feel if we took some pictures of what you've got?" She was initially a little put off by our request, but she called over her boyfriend to consult. We got into a long conversation about their strange underground business of supplying psychoactives at parties, about the ethics of selling, and about their belief that their work helped strengthen the community. After talking, he was happy to let us take pictures of his wares, so we then spent thirty minutes in a corner photographing their nice individually labeled 22.5 mg vials of 2C-B.
And Many More...
These are only some of the more common varieties of specialist Drug Geeks. Perhaps the most common Drug Geek is the Generalist who is at heart interested in how psychoactives are (mis)used and (mis)understood by society, and who enjoys discovering and promulgating factual information. The Supplement Geek knows just the right combination of vitamins, minerals or nutraceuticals to pre-load for trips, improve effects, soften the comedown, recharge the day after, or rebalance the system. The Law Geek reads every related court opinion, monitors ongoing cases, knows the flaws and vagaries of every psychoactive related law, and stays abreast of the minutiae of Federal Register filings by the DEA. The Music Geek collects traditional music like icaros and songs from the ayahuasca churches, tracks which music is best to accompany each type of experience, or writes their own to fill in where lacking. The History Geek knows the origins of specific substances, which plants were traditionally used by which culture, who first synthesized psilocybin and in what year, when mescaline was scheduled, and what government organization was in charge of drug laws at the time. The Art Geek keeps their finger on the pulse of psychoactive art: who keeps the best collections, where there are current showings, whose art has been used on LSD blotter. And the list goes on and on.
Regardless of the subject matter, specialists such as those described above serve an important purpose. Without attention from aficionados who focus intensely on the unique and obscure details of a given field of knowledge, that knowledge stagnates. It often seems to be the large corporations, institutions, and big dollars that drive the advancement of knowledge, but behind these are key individuals with a keen interest in learning, teaching, archiving, or documenting. Whether they work in a field where they are well paid, or one where they volunteer, it is these information geeks that push the boundaries of knowledge and understanding.
by Earth & Fire Erowid, 2004
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